Memories

So, as my vacation in Las Vegas is drawing to an end, I have to say this has been one of the best family vacations I have been on yet (although I can only really remember two others–one where I was pretty much on house arrest on a cruise to the bahamas, and one vacation to Keywest that was too long ago to really remember).

When I first thought of going to Las Vegas, I imagined a filthy city filled with cigarette smoke and debauchary and as hot and dry as a desert should be. I imagined that the only sights to see would be the fickering lights of the penny slots and the neon signs of the Casinos and that my days would consist of sitting in my hotel room with the occasional visit to the gym while my parents gambled away my inheritance. Just kidding. But I did imagine something boring of the sort. Thus I was pleasantly surprised by our daily walks down the Las Vegas strip. I love the vibrant colors and sounds on the streets bustling with vendors and people and the sunny days that are just right–not too sunny. Most of all, I love the wind. While not completely like the sort of breeze you would get next to the ocean, the wind in Las Vegas is vigorously refreshing. I love the way it tosses my hair around (as if I was sitting in a sportcar with an open window) and plays with the skirts of my dress as I walk. For awhile, I can just relax. I forget about worrying and preparing for the future. I even forget the annoying clicking of call girl cards being shoved in my face. It’s just the wind and the present.

The insides of the Casinos are complete luxury. My favorite? The inside of the Venetian. It’s a cute little (maybe not little, persay) imitation of the streets of Venice, complete with an imitation blue sky and imitation bridges with cute little men on cute little gondolas floating underneath. I wanted to take a picture of just about everything. A close second would be Mirage. They have an imitation rainforest that you can walk through with exotic live plants and a leafy green canopy as well as an absence of cigarette smoke. Huge plus. The night shows outside the casinos are equally impressive. The Fountains of Bellagio did a cute little dance to upbeat music for us and the volcano at Mirage really made us feel the heat. I can only imagine how much gas they burn a day. I also liked the sexy sirens of Treasure Island, especially when they sunk the (very hot) pirate’s ship after their closets got blasted by the pirate ship’s cannons. Hah!

We watched two shows so far, both very fun to watch. Mystere of Cirque du Soleil was a feast for the eyes as expected with a lot of comedy.  One Albert-Einstein looking clown entertained the crowd by pretending to be an usher, switching the seats of people’s girlfriends, ripping up guests’ tickets, dropping popcorn on people’s heads, and the like. I especially liked when the announcer with the greasy mustache was making his puppet talk and the clown calls out from the crowd “Hey! We can see your mouth move!” After the clown calls him out, the announcer shuts his mouth and looks offended while his puppet looks at him and goes “He said your mouth not my mouth.” Hahahaha. There was also a big “baby” that randomly picked an audience member from the front row to be his “papa” and made that person get up and help him whenever he needed help. One time, the “baby” fell over, cries for ”papa!” and then when the audience member walked on stage to help, the baby squirted him with a  huge baby bottle. There was much more, of course, including very nice dance choreography and acrobatics. The other show we watched was Xtreme Magic of Dirk Arthur. My mom was extremely impressed by the guy’s ability to turn women into gigantic Bengali tigers, haha. I really liked when he made two dancing hankerchiefs fly into a bottle and then when they finally came out of the bottle, there was a little hankerchief dancing between them. Hahaha!

Of course, my mom and I also went to the mall. That mall is probably one of the biggest malls I’ve ever seen. We walked around less than half of the top level and realized that there were two other levels we hadn’t even seen yet. We also caught a glimpse of a live fashion show in the mall. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was motivational at least =P Still, I have yet to go to the gym as planned. Sigh.

Anyways, I will continue this entry later. Mom is bored of listening to me type.

So, I’m in Las Vegas on a family vacation with my parents and I accidentally purchased 3 tickets for $278.25 for Penn and Teller on Vegas.com for July 4th instead of June 4th. Apparently the website policy is no returns or changes at all…even 3 seconds after the mistake was made. FML.

I also lost my phone somewhere and dropped/broke my camera. Worst luck ever.

Lucky is quickly becoming a member of our family. We took him to the vet today and he was so incredibly sweet and obedient. Cute story: when he was at the vet, he was lying down in front of me and panting with his tongue hanging out. So I copied him and pretended to pant with my tongue out but then he immediately stopped panting and looked at me really confused. Then when he saw that I stopped, he continued panting. Then I started panting with him again and he stopped again and looked confused. It was so cute hahah. We also leash trained him in one day! He hated it at first and kept biting the leash but my mom took him to the park and he quickly got used to the social activities around and actually jogged a lap around the park on his leash with my mom. He has found a corner of our courtyard that is covered in pinestraw that he really likes. He also has a yellow plush soccer ball that he really likes. We went outside today and noticed that he had dug a perfectly little circle (where he pushed the pinestraw away) and placed the yellow plush ball exactly in the center of the circlular area he cleared out. Hahahah! He also took a nap in the afternoon flipped over on his back. It was so cute! He had one paw curled up next to his face and the other paw curled up over his chest area and I really wish I had taken a picture. Pretty soon he’s going to be huge and I’m not going to get a chance to take any more puppy pictures. Anyways, he’s getting used to his crate now and actually walks in instead of having us shove him in. I can tell my mom and dad are already getting very attached. =)

I got my first puppy last night! His name is Lucky and he is a beautiful black/tan German Shephard, 8 wks old. He’s naughty, lazy, but also incredibly sweet and adorable. Last night he peed in his kennel and the stench woke me up. I had to give him a bath because he smelled so bad and then my parents got angry that I was giving him a bath at 5am haha. I forgot to mention that Lucky is really smart. He has already learned to “stay” outside in our courtyard without whining to come in, “fetch” his numerous toys (we’re spoiling him), and pee/poop in one corner of the courtyard. My mom said he’s a little scaredy cat though. When she was outside in the courtyard with him, he wouldn’t venture out unless my mom walked out first and then when he heard some big dogs barking, he ran and hid under my mom’s legs and then tried to climb up on her. When she held him in her arms he stopped whining and was calm. Hahah! This is probably normal of most puppies though. What’s impressive is that Lucky has already learned to be protective. When my mom was in the courtyard with him and I was outside the courtyard dragging the dumpster to the gate, he jumped up, was super alert, and then started barking ferociously. He immediately alerted my mom! Most of the time, though, he’s quiet and very sweet. I think he’s going to grow up (very quickly) to be a great watchdog and companion. He just needs a little training and love. We just put him in his kennel and he’s been so “guai(1)” as my mom likes to put it. He probably fell asleep now. Anyways, here are some pictures I took of Lucky last night. Enjoy!

Lucky drinking water.

Lucky being stubborn.

Lucky being scared of the dark.

Sitting Lucky.

Lucky hiding underneath my legs.

Mom holding Lucky.

Lucky fell asleep in this position.

=)

Welcome home Lucky!

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Edit//

Lucky is getting more and more affectionate. He likes to curl up against me whereever I’m sitting and once he’s next to me he stops whining, feels safe, and falls asleep. If he hears something rustle though, he immediately sits up and is super alert haha. Sometimes he barks at the birds. I can definitely see why so many people get so attached to their pets. Also, when he stretches when he’s sleepy he is SO cute. Ok, I’m going to do something more productive than blogging about Lucky now. Later.

I was thinking the other day about the differences between colleges the other day. More accurately, I was thinking about whether I had made the right choice for college. My mom wants me to go to grad school or med school in Georgia, near home. That doesn’t leave me too many options. Most probably Emory. Then I wondered why I would spend a ton of my parents’ money to go to Yale if I could have gone to UGA at no cost and still made it to Emory med school. All of this thinking created a lot of self doubt about the decision I made last year on January 8th (the day I accepted admissions). Why, why, why.

Then I decided to think about what Yale offered that other places didn’t. Well, the classrooms are filled with the buzzing of people frantically typing down every word the professor says. The libraries are so packed sometimes that I can’t even find a seat. But I had to say the most impressive and positive difference is in the dining hall. No, I don’t mean the food. I mean the discussions. At any time of day, all you have to do is sit down at a dining hall table and you can immediately become absorbed in an interesting conversation or debate about world affairs, quirky scientific findings, and more. Granted, not ALL of our dining hall conversations are so intelligent. But, I wondered if this kind of discussion was frequent at other college campus dining halls. Yesterday evening I dined with some friends who were discussion economics, social welfare, and the costs of externalities (the content of the discussion I did not completely understand). Today I listened in on someone talking about the kinds of educational and social change they wanted to bring about in New Haven. Some other people were talking about sexual attraction, but they discussed this in terms such as “the nature versus nurture debate.” I suddenly realized how natural it seemed for us to be…well, not kids anymore.

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Ok, this post has to be cut short. I have to study for my social psych test!

Bye!

My laptop broke for the 4th time this year today. It is a Dell XPS M1330, red, fully decked out, quite cute, but unreliable! Service technicians have come over twice and I have even had it shipped to Texas to have it fixed. This time, it dropped one foot from my lap to the ground, and the entire XPS panel came off revealing the chips and wires inside. I know laptops aren’t mean to be dropped, but this one is so fragile! Maybe it is time to let it go.

Ok, the real reason I’m writing this post isn’t because my laptop broke. Of all the events that have happened in my life in the past year, my laptop breaking yet another time is more of a mundance everyday occurance.

I’m writing simply because I don’t feel like doing else.

It’s one of those days where it’s just hard to get started. There are things to do, places to go, but the motivation to move is lacking. The paradox is, I actually really want to feel motivated, productive, and alive again. But there’s another part of me that feels comfortable remaining stagnant.

I miss writing. I miss playing tennis, playing piano, going to math tournaments. I miss being able to sing out loud without having to worry about disrupting people around me or being heard at all for that matter. I miss driving by myself in my beetle and playing Stacie Orrico. I miss my family. I miss having my own room and my own privacy. I miss Chinese Club–fridays after school to just relax, talk to wise Mrs. Huie, and plan fundraisers with friends. I miss high school. Basically, today is one of those days I miss the time that has past. Usually I spend my time looking forward to the future, thinking about all the things I can do in the and all the freedom and new experiences that have yet to come. But yesterday, before I went to sleep, I wondered why I did that. What if the best part of life, the happiest time in my life, was back in the day when I was a child living in the comfort of my parent’s care? I wish I could go around and ask random people at various stages in their life when their happiest time was/is. I think I asked my mom before, but I can’t quite remember what she said. But I guess it is kind of silly to ask such a question. The happiest time of life is inevitably going to vary with each person.

I was also thinking about David’s friend who died last year. He was young, healthy, filled with life and purpose (and good looking). But he died one day out of the blue. Leo says that people appreciate life most when someone young dies suddenly. You suddenly realize how fragile life is, how ephemeral. One split second, one wrong choice, one cruel twist of fate…But, you know? People cared about this guy. Even to this day, people are still posting messages on his facebook wall, telling him about things going on in their life and how much they miss him and wish he was there to take part in it. I think about the people in my life and wonder if people would miss me that much. Have I been a good enough friend and a good enough person to deserve their thoughts months or years after I have passed? Or would people simply be sad because I was young and didn’t get a chance to live. I know that I’ve been really sad about this guy. I never knew him, but I’ve cried at least twice whenever I’ve thought of him. The sadness of the people who loved him and will never be able to see him or talk to him again really gets me. I think that the thing I’m most scared about death is how much hurt and sadness I’ll leave behind for my family. I think that if my parents and the people I loved were not around, dying wouldn’t be such a terrible thing.

By the way, I think my parents discovered my website a while ago so I haven’t been too eager to write on this. I hope they don’t think I’m suicidal hahaha. Which reminds me, in social psychology today, Professor Bargh mentioned that it’s really hard for guys to say “I love you” to their dads. I thought about it and it’s true. Imagine a brother or a guy friend saying “I love you” to their dad. Seems kind of mushy, huh? I’m a girl and it’s kind of hard for me too because I haven’t been accustomed to voicing it as I’ve grown up. But Mom, Dad, if you are reading this, I really love you guys. =)

I’ve stopped importing what I write here to my facebook, by the way. I feel like that way, only the people who really care about me and my life will take the extra effort to come here and read what I have to say. My entries are also more private this way (even though it is on the web available for the whole world to see, hah). And I feel more comfortable writing here. Back in the day, when I was young and obsessed with xanga, I cared about how many people would read what I had to say. I loved getting comments and “eprops.” But these days, maybe it’s just because I’m getting old, I really don’t care anymore whether people read this. I almost don’t want people to read this. Today, I write for myself.

In other news, so I remember this when I’m old and nostalgic, my first Yale China Care Dumplings playgroup took place this past Saturday. Only three children showed up out of the 14 that RSPVed but I feel that it was really successful nonetheless. The kids received a lot of attention and I think they had a lot of fun. The parents were also very appreciative. We made paper crafts with them, told the story of the origin of the Chinese zodiac, gave them hong bao, taught them to say gong xi fa cai, played red light green light, etc. It was lots of fun and refreshing to be around young kids again.

I am also thinking about taking voice lessons. I’m not a very good singer, but that hasn’t prevented me from loving to sing. In college, you never have the privacy to sing! I tried singing in the shower before, but my roomates informed me afterwards that everyone could hear me. Embarassing si le.

Anyways, I think I should wrap up. Maybe I’ll start writing here regularly again. It helps me sort out my thoughts, leaves me feeling content and peaceful, and definitely provides good reading material for when I am old. =) Peace out world.

Love,

M

Recently I’ve noticed that ever since coming to Yale, I’ve been strangely addicted to libraries. No, it’s not because I’m a total nerd and like to study 24/7 …well, partially. But I think more of my attraction to libraries stems from the fact that it is the one of only places where I can really find peace. The pace of college life is so fast that I never feel like I have down time, and strangely, the place where I’m completing work offers me the most respite. (The upside to this craziness is that I’m never bored. It’s great!) The mini-individual study rooms in the Bass library are fantastic (I am in one right now). And the TD library

is just so personal it feels like home. My room is always filled with people, and though they are mostly people that I love, I’ve realized that sometimes I just need to be alone. This is actually a really interesting find for me because I really do love people so much.

Speaking of libraries, my writing seminar yesterday was entirely about libraries and perceiving libraries as a sort of media through which we gather, organize, and contribute information. I would never have expected a seminar on libraries to be even remotely interesting, but this one was incredible. I felt really refreshed after class and it actually made me forget my worries about the chemistry test I took earlier that morning. Anyways, I made another realization about myself during this class. I’m abnormally interested in human development, personality, and interaction. This might sound kind of creepy actually. The content of the class lecture was very interesting, yet it was hard for me to pay full attention because the librarian was more interesting to me. I found myself wondering what her background was, was she always such a fluent speaker, did she know she wanted to be a librarian (she seemed to really love her job), how did she come to be this highly educated and thought provoking librarian, etc etc. Maybe my mental stereotype of librarians are just little old ladies who like to read books and organize them, but this woman was extremely engaging. Almost as engaging as our actual writing professor.

Then later yesterday, I spent an hour reading this article:

http://www.gladwell.com/2002/2002_08_05_a_face.htm

which is absolutely fascinating. It made me always want to take a summer off to learn FACS–basically a manual on how to interpret the human face. I’m thinking of asking my professor if there is a video documentary of this article because I’d love to see face-reading in action. Are there really such subtle microsecond expressions on our face that give away our most private emotions?

Anyways, I’m really procrastinating on studying for Psych. I’m just going to abruptly cut this post short. Exam tomorrow, wish me luck!

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P.S. It is my beloved roomate’s birthday today! If you’re reading this Alexsis, happy birthday!!

I was walking back to TD with Caroline and Sana at about 8 pm…and apparently some blonde kid waves hi to me (according to Caroline). Since I have no idea who he is, I didn’t really pay attention to him or acknowledge him, and we all kind of brush it off. One minute later, we’re walking down the same path in cross campus and some black kid approaches me and goes “hey, I saw you this afternoon….”

me: “uhhhmmm”

him: “wait, you’re jia right?”

me: “no….”

So the kid looks embarassed and apologizes and we walk on discussing how non-asian people always think all asian people look alike. Literally 30 seconds later, as we are walking along and discussing this, an asian kid walks up and pokes/shoves me.

Asian kid: “Jia!!”

me: *looks at him weirdly*

Asian kid: *pokes/shoves me again* “Hey Jia!”

me: “are you being serious?”

Asian kid: “wait, you’re not Jia?”

me: “no…who’s Jia?”

Asian kid: “holy crap you look exactly like Jia..Jia Huang”

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So. Moral of the story: there’s a junior at Yale named Jia Huang who apparently looks exactly like me.

Unacceptable!

College is busy. Catch up with you later.

<3

M

Guess what that is.

Yes, that’s me, holding a gun. I’m not sure exactly how it came to be in my hand, but I think it started by my parents buying a Wii + game pack with some shooting games in it. Then my dad got this brilliant idea to take us for a fun family day at the shooting range. Parents thought it might be good practice in case I ever got myself into one of those drastic situations in life. Hah!

(yes, that’s actually me)

I guess I’m not one of those people who get those adrenaline rushes/thrills or whatever from holding a gun. I was pretty scared at first, actually. I mean, it’s all fun and games when you’re pointing a Wiimote to your television screen. In a shooting range, its a bit more real. Who’s to say some sharpshooting psychopath won’t just randomly turn or around or something and knock everyone out? Maybe I’m just paranoid, haha. I turned out with not too bad of an aim though. Out of my parents and Kevin (we brought Kevin), my mom shot the highest score (99), I shot the 2nd highest (95), Dad shot 3rd (80 something) and I don’t remember Kevin’s score. I was kind of tired of it after a few rounds. I can’t say I’m particularly fond of the the loud, harsh sound of the gunshot or the smell of burnt rubber. Or the idea of what the real purpose of these guns are for.

On a brighter note, I got to see the “juniors” today! Came back home and saw them across the street frolicking in Courtney’s yard. It’s so weird to think of them as “seniors” now. Honestly, they don’t act like them. =P I mean, Timmy tried to put sparkley glue on my face…to which I responded, “stop harassing the ss…freshman!” I’m…the freshman. They are the seniors? sigh* Tomorrow is the first day of school for them and I feel curiously inclined to go visit just so I can savor the…taste? of sleeping in class again. Actually I miss the kids and the teachers. I put this idea out already, but what if I were to go and pretend to be a freshman? What If I packed on a huge bookbag and dorky glasses and asked some random freshman in the halls “where’s room 1.509?” (which, btw, doesn’t exist)…The idea is tempting, but those “juniors” would probably rat me out. And I’m too pansy. =)

Anyways, I’m pretty excited. Back to school season! Can’t wait to visit the old folk tomorrow!!